How do you write dialogue?

I can’t, not right now.

“Because your sleeping cat is blocking your typewriter? I thought you said you had loads of typewriters?”

“I do,” I said. “Wait, I’ll just use my Swissa, that’s a good dialogue machine.”

He rolled his eyes. “Dialogue machine? Are you kidding me?”

“No, no. Some typewriters have a better flow. Something to do with the key action, I suppose. Wait, my Swissa is in the kitchen. Ah, dammit.”

“What now?”

“My son is using it to empty his head.”

“Empty his head?”

“Well, his mind, of course. He’s got ADHD and just writing a stream-of-consciousness page will help him sort out-”

“I get it, I get it.” He spotted a small case and lifted it. “Use this one.”

“Careful,” I said. “That’s a Corona 3 folding typewriter from 1920.”

“Looks like a toy.”

“Well, you have to fold the carriage over like this.”

“Still looks like a toy. Did anyone ever type on that?”

“Hemingway’s first typewriter was a Corona 3.”

“Ernest Hemingway? Have you ever seen a picture of him? Big bearded man with huge hands? Can you imagine him typing on this toy?”

I shrugged. “He got one from his fiancé before he left for Paris. I guess it was the laptop of the 1920s.”

“I’ve seen pictures of him with his big Royal typewriters.” He sniffed. “Not with this toy.”

“Well, maybe he wasn’t famous enough back then, but there is a letter he wrote to his fiancé where he complains that his ‘femme de ménage’ caused his Corona to fall on the floor and had to be repaired. The typewriter, not the cleaning lady.”

He looked bored. “I thought you were going to tell me how you write dialogue. Why don’t you just write on a computer, like everybody else?”

“First of all, not everybody writes on a computer. Some write in longhand, some use typewriters.”

“Stallwarts,” he said. “Just answer.”

“Because typewriters silence my Inner Editor.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “Oh, really? Your Inner Editor?”

“When I write on a computer and I make a mistake, my Inner Editor interferes and wants me to correct that mistake before I carry on and that disturbs my flow.”

“Your Inner Editor.” He rolled his eyes. “Is that like Anal Steele’s Inner Goddess?”

“Who?”

“That ditzy chick from Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“You want me to punch you out?” I was only half-kidding. “You want to tell me that you have no inner critic who gives you unwanted advice?”

“Oh, that one. I guess that’s why I drink, to blot out my conscience.”

“You drink, I write on a typewriter. My way is healthier.”

“Unless you get frustrated by all your usable typewriters being occupied by kids and cats, I guess.” He looks at the cat, who just appeared in the kitchen to see if there is food in his bowl. “Your cat is here, so your typewriter is unblocked. Now you can show me how you write dialogue.”

“Forget it,” I said. “I’m going to make some coffee. You want some?”

“Only if you make it with that weird one with the pump lever.”

“Deal. And after, I might show you how I write dialogue.”

Great question !!! The ability to Write great dialogue is one of the most pressing problems facing new writers. Quite frankly, it’s on top of my list for we had to reject so many screenplays, when I was a reader.

The best tip you can get to writing dialogue is actually: Try not to write any at all. I know it must sound crazy but too many rookie writers make the mistake of telling the whole story in the dialogue, and that’s not how movies work. It makes for bad, expository, stilted, dialogue - the problem that many new writers face.

There´s a good reason for why Hollywood, over the past 60 years, have developed a very good way of developing screenplays. It´s a way that, among many other things, pave the way for writing better dialogue.

And that way goes as follows; First you write your story out in a pitch format (or Logline) then you develop that pitch onto a one page synopsis and when that is done, you expand it into a step outline or a treatment (or both) and then finally the screenplay.

In each step of this process, your tell your story without dialogue. Everything we know about the characters, their emotions, thoughts, what they do for a living, what their backstory is, is told in in action only. - What the characters do, not what they say.

The art of screenwriting is very much an art that is all about revealing characters , through their actions.

Once you have done that, you no longer need to use the dialogue to “tell the story” You have freed up the dialogue from the heavy burden it is to tell the story. And what you get from doing this, is a more natural, more realistic and yet more dramatic dialogue.

Think about Tarantino's screenplay for Pulp Fiction and think about the famous, cheeseburger dialogue. Think about what that scene does. Here we have two killers for hire on their way out to assassinate some people who owe their, Boss a lot of money.

Now how do we understand all this? though dialogue? - nope, through their actions. They arrive at the place, unpacks their guns from the car, and shoot the guys. Everything important is told through their actions.

A bad writer would have jammed all that into the dialogue, like;

—-

VINCENT : You know Jules, my friend and colleague; Do you know where we are going now?

JULES : You tell me.

VINCENT We are going to perform a very, very difficult hit. Some guys owe our boss a lot of money and they forgot to pay him and so we now have to perform a very difficult hit on them.

JULES: A hit?

VINCENT : Yes, that is what hit men working for the mob do for a living, you know. And we’re Hit Men, remember?

JULES :“Of course I remember, Vincent. That´s what we do for a living.

—-

Instead of that Tarantino knows the basic rule of screenwriting: Show it, don´t tell it. And because he consistently tells everything through the character´s actions, he can now liberate the dialogue and allow it to be about everything else.

Now, characters are free to small talk, to change subject, to pause, to talk inconsistently - Just as most of us do, when we talk in the real world. like this:

VINCENT : You'll dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?

JULES :What?

VINCENT : It's the little differences. A lotta the same shit we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different.

JULES : Examples?

VINCENT: Well, in Amsterdam, you can buy beer in a movie theatre. And I don't mean in a paper cup either. They give you a glass of beer, like in a bar. In Paris, you can buy beer at MacDonald's. Also, you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

JULES :They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

—

But other than that, here´s a few other simple beginner tips:

1) keep dialogue short and simple.

2) Avoid monologues. Cut it up into exchanges between characters

3) Make sure that every line you write is about emotions. Even if the subject matter is some trite exposition you need to get over. Make it about their emotions instead.

4) Don´t let characters openly talk or address their emotions in dialogue. Let them do it indirectly in the subtext. For instance

INSTEAD OF WRITING:

Annie: You are a Jerk.

Write:

Annie: you used to be so sweet..

The message is the same, but the second time around, it is being said in the subtext.

5) Give all your characters a unique voice. - a voice is made up of many factors such as; vocabulary, sentence length and structure, Dialect, Sociolect

( What social class you character was brought up in - The difference between someone who grew up in Bensonhurst Brooklyn and someone who came from upper west side)

and Chronolect (what time period your character were brought up in -the difference between someone who grew up in the 1930´s and someone who grew up in the 1980´s)

But let´s focus on sentence length.Look at this:

CAROL: Do we have to have that Fan on?

BEN: No, we do not.

CAROL: I Don´t like fans, much.

BEN: I´ll turn it off, baby.

—

Notice how their sentences are almost equally long? Let´s give them some character by giving them each different sentence lengths:

CAROL: Do we have to have that fan on?

BEN: No.

CAROL:I Don´t like fans, much.

BEN( switches the fan off)

—

Now, Carol is the talkative one and Ben is the silent type.

Dialogue That Speaks"

10 Ways to Talk It Up

1)  Write like you talk. 

Scene: Two friends meet on the street.

  "Hello, John.  How are you?"

  "I am just fine.  And how are you, Martha?"

  "Thank you for asking.  I am fine.
How's your job search coming along."

  "My job search is going rather
slowly, I'm afraid.  Are you still
working at Smith and Sons?"

Wasn't that painful
to read?  The characters are lifeless.
You would never speak in that manner in real life, so please don't ever have
your characters do it. 

Here's a more likely scenario:

  "Hey, John, what's up?" Martha asked.

  "Not much, you?"

  "Same old.  You still out job hunting?"

  "Yeah, sorry to say.  You still at Smith & Sons?"

Now add some filler
(deeper POV):

  "Hey, John, what's up?"  Martha's attempted smile never reached her
pretty green eyes.  She bit her bottom lip.

  John considered his friend for a moment then heaved the heavy backpack off his shoulders.  It hit the ground with a thud.  "Not much, you?"

  "Same old."  Martha's voice was so low he had to step closer to hear.  "You still out job hunting?" she said as she  studied the sidewalk and ran the toe of her shoe along a crack.

  "Yeah, sorry to say."  He gently lifted her chin to peer into her face.  Tears were
about to spill there. He felt the pull of her chin as she tried to turn away.  "You still at Smith and Sons or did something happen?"

Now we have two living, breathing characters.

2)  Make it realistic. People often cut each other off. 

  "Did you put gas in the car like I asked –- "

  "Of course.  Don't I always," he said, the irritation clear  in his voice.

  "I know, but tonight –-"

  He held up a hand to stop her.  "I don't want a lecture."

3) Get to the point. Make if flow, but stick to the subject.  In real life we tend to ramble, stop in the middle and start a new subject, or just not talk in complete sentences.  This doesn't work well in novel dialogue.  Limit the uhs and ums.

  "Frank bought me the cutest card the other – oh, that reminds me, we need to order the flowers.  Did Jennifer RSVP by the way?" 

Although this was an actual conversation I overheard at lunch, it's too confusing and thrown together for a novel. 

4)  We speak differently with different people.  What you say to your sweetie won't work with the boss.  Keep your dialogue genuine to the situation.  A man softens his voice when speaking on the phone to his girlfriend.  A woman speaks louder and acts  more brazen with 'the girls' than with her mother.

5)  More body language, less words.  Showing instead of telling creates deeper POV and makes the scene more interesting. As we are speaking, remember we are also doing something; moving around, drinking coffee, picking lint off our clothes.
You're not just standing there staring at the speaker.

Sometimes you don't need any dialogue to convey the message:

  "I'm quite aggravated," she said.

  OR: 

She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, tilted one hip, and gave him a raised eyebrow.

6)
Keep your character's dialogue in sync with their personality.  A nun probably wouldn't curse.  A guy in prison wouldn't call PJs jammies. Be
true to your character in word, tone and mannerism. A painfully shy man doesn't
suddenly become a ladies man. 

7)  Accents
and foreign language. If your character is foreign and has an accent, give
the reader a few words in his/her language, but don't overwhelm with thick
accents that are hard to understand or tons of foreign words that have to be
looked up. The unwritten rule is if you must use the accent/language then limit
it to two or three words per page.  Git me drift, luv?  All good, dahlin'?  Och, lassie, ye ken? Ya mus can do dat ting, yah?

8)  Don't over inform.  When people talk they generally know each other. A person would never say:

  "Tom, my old friend from grad school, it's so good to see you away from your three-bedroom condo on the ocean where you live with your two poodle dogs, Bridget and Sparky."

  Never use dialogue as a filler or to increase your word count.  Make it relevant to the story.  Only use dialogue to move the scene along. Cut any useless conversations.  They slow down the pacing.

9)  Dialogue tags.  Nothing is worse than a long unending conversation where you have to go back and figure out who is saying what.  Tags are not needed after every
line though. An occasional 'he said' will do the trick and actually gets ignored by the reader and will not interrupt the flow. Characters say their lines. They don’t cluck, snort, shout, retort, purr, snigger, interject or bark. (By the way, those are all 'telling'
not 'showing'.) If the couple is having a fight, the dialogue can be a quick
back and forth.

  "I never wanted to go out with you in the first place," she shouted.

  "But you did," he said.

  "Only because you were so pathetic," she sneered.

  "I only seemed pathetic because you were such a brat," he snorted.

   "A brat?  You're calling me a brat?" she said.

  "I call as I see 'em," he retorted.

  "Oh, yeah, well see this," she yelled.

  See how all those tags get annoying?  If you removed all the tags except the first
one, you could still follow along easily. But, as this is a fight, a few POV
fillers would fill out the piece nicely. Notice how I didn't always begin with
the dialogue. 

  "I never wanted to go out with you in the first place," she shouted, her foot angrily tapping a cadence on the tile floor.

  His face began to darken with anger. "But you did."

  "Only because you were so pathetic."  She looked around for something to throw.

  "I only seemed pathetic because you were such a brat."  He jabbed a finger at her.

  Her eyes widened in disbelief. "A brat?  You're calling me a brat?" 

  "I call as I see 'em." 

  "Oh, yeah, well see this," she said, as she hurled a lamp at his head.

10)  Men versus women.  A female writer will
often write the way she herself speaks, which will not work on a male
character. Men and women think and talk differently.  Men speak in shorter, clipped sentences.  A man would never describe the pink color as
salmon or peach. Men are more visual and prone to action; women have a better
sense of taste and smell, and tend to analyze.

Any question that asks for help in doing something that is "good" or "great" can expect someone to say, "It depends on what you mean by those amorphous adjectives." So, let me be that person in this instance. What will probably be most successful with the audience will depend on so many factors. I will define "great dialogue" as dialogue that critics rave about and audiences applaud. Here are just a few questions that you'll want to answer before deciding what kind of dialogue will (1) be consistent with the answers to these questions and (2) will raise the level of resulting screenplay and, ultimately, performances.

1.    Relate the genre of the play/movie to examples of normal conversation. How do people talk when they're frightened? making love? intimidating a rival? In most screenplays, the readers are "listening" for believable dialogue. Do real people in these situations talk like this?

2.    What are the strengths of the main performers with respect to their "style" when talking? (Take advantage of strengths without reinforcing a performer's previous parts; avoid making the performer a cliche of his previous performances.) If the performers have not yet been chosen, be prepared to rewrite the dialogues.

3.    What pace is necessary to move the story forward without racing faster than the audience can follow?

4.    What is the nature of the performance at a particular point in the piece: thoughtful? action-packed? slapstick?

5.    Which lines have to convey the essence of the story's "message"? How do you get those "right"-- e.g., unambiguous, succinct, poignant? This even applies to slapstick.

6.    When you listen to a wide variety of real people in real world conversations, what characteristics strike you as being essential to "authentic" dialogue? Note: Those characteristics depend on the type of conversation.

7.    Develop an "ear" for how different kinds of people talk in different kinds of situations. Don't violate what sounds true unless there is a reason to do so due in order to match the style of the show.

8.    Be sensitive to vocabulary and grammar. They have to fit the character, the situation, and the target audience. A documentary about the 21st century advances in computational linguistics is going to have a different dialogue vocabulary than Dumb and Dumber 27.

9.    Remember that your screenplay's dialogues are in the hands of the actors, directors, and producers, not to mention the editors. You must give them a starting point with the dialogue that they can make their own.

Some personal tips for writing good dialogue -

1.    KISS - Keep it short and simple - long, clunky and redundant sentences are outdated.

2.    Use smaller words and create a bigger impact.

3.    Know the characters really well - it's important for them to sound authentic and their own selves.

4.    Make each sentence count - Every sentence should have a meaning and carry the story forward.

Writing Dialogue: The 5 Best Ways to Make Your Characters’ Conversations Seem Real

By: Scott Francis | February 14, 2012

Whether you write novels or prefer writing short stories, it’s important to know how to write dialogue in a story. Dialogue is one of those key elements of fiction that a lot of writers struggle with. It’s difficult to make the things your characters say smack of real life—to convey the important details of the story without sounding forced or fake.

How to Write Dialogue

Here are 5 great ways to make sure your dialogue sounds convincing:

1.    Never use dialogue as an information dump. Too many writers rely on dialogue for story exposition—that is to say that they relay details about plot or backstory through the things their characters say. The result? Writing that sounds completely fake or is what is often referred to as “on the nose dialogue.” Like this: “As you know,” Dr. Constance said, “I’m a forensic specialist, trained by the FBI in DNA analysis, so I’ll take this sample back to the lab for testing. (For more about writing realistic dialogue that doesn’t sound stilted like the previous example, I recommend this free article from Jeff Gerke [excerpted from his book The First 50 Pages: Engage Agents, Editors, and Readers, and Set Up Your Novel for Success.])

2.    Use simple dialogue tags. Fancy dialogue tags like she denounced or he proclaimed might seem like a good way to show off your writer’s vocabulary, but in truth they draw attention away from your dialogue. She said or he said is almost always your best choice. Let the characters’ words speak for themselves.

3.    Use dialogue beats to help with story pacing and to convey information or emotion. Dialogue beats are brief depictions of character action inserted in between dialogue that help bring the scene to life. Like this: “Nah, I don’t mind,” Dan shrugged his shoulders and grinned as he wiped a dirty bandana across his forehead, “Let’s do this thing.”

4.    Remember that often less is more. When you write dialogue look back and see if there are words you can leave out or there is a shorter way to say what you just wrote. People often say things the shortest way possible in real life.

5.    Be careful when writing dialect. Many writers think that giving a character an accent or a drawl is a great way to make the character come to life—and it can be. But if done in a way that is too heavy handed it can turn your character into a stereotype or a joke. Or even worse, you can offend or annoy readers. So, keep in mind that when it comes to dialect, a little goes a long way.

Keep it Simple: Keys to Realistic Dialogue (Part I)

By: Eleanore D. Trupkiewicz | June 26, 2014

In this post, Trupkiewicz details the importance of creating realistic dialogue and punctuating dialogue properly in order to keep the reader invested. Even the slightest of errors can draw the reader out of the story.

---

If the devil’s in the details, that makes dialogue for fiction writers one of the most demonic elements of a story or novel. Just thinking about it makes me want to shut down my laptop and take up another career. Something less taxing, like dedicating the rest of my life to finding the Holy Grail.

Think about it. It couldn’t possibly be any more frustrating a career choice.

On the other hand, without dialogue to break up the monotony, stories get wordy and dull. Paragraph after paragraph of description or action eventually bores a reader into throwing the book against the wall and declaring a moratorium on any future reading.

(11 secrets to writing an effective character description.)

Which is a death sentence for authors.

The goal, instead, is to engage the reader so he/she never even entertains the possibility of tossing aside the book.

Here’s a quick-reference guide to writing effective dialogue in fiction.

Problem: What About Complete Sentences?

When I close my eyes, I can see my middle school English teacher, in a black broomstick skirt and print blouse, as she stressed the importance of “always writing in complete sentences.”

Any student hoping for a glowing report card would’ve taken the edict to heart. I started writing short stories in which the dialogue between characters read something like this:

                  “Good morning, James. It’s nice to see you again.”

                  “Thank you, Lisa, you as well. How have you been?”

                  “I’ve been very well lately, thank you, and you?”

Yawn.

Who talks like that?

Unless you’re writing dialogue in complete sentences for one character in your work of fiction, perhaps to emphasize a cultural difference or a high-class upbringing, few people really talk that way. What worked for Jane Austen in Pride and Prejudice isn’t going to fly with today’s readers.

Now what?

I’ll let you in on a secret. You’re going to have to disappoint your grade school English teacher.

Try an experiment. Go to a public place and eavesdrop. It helps maintain your cover if you’re not obvious about it, but just listen to the flow of conversation around you. You’re likely to hear snippets:

                  “Hey, man.”

                  “No.”

                  “Shut up.”

                  “Get lost, will you?”

                  “Pregnant? Julie?”

                  “I can’t— no, I don’t feel—”

Not many of these are complete sentences, by grammatical standards. Where are the subjects and the predicates? Could you diagram these examples?

Sure—they’re called words and phrases, and they’re what people generally use in conversation.

It’s not a crime to use a complete sentence—“Get away from me, Jim, before I call the police”—but opportunities don’t come up very often. Dialogue will flow and read more naturally on the page if you train yourself to write the way you hear people around you speaking.

Problem: Punctuating Dialogue

Periods, commas, ellipses, quotation marks, tigers, bears … you get the idea.

Don’t panic. Punctuating dialogue doesn’t have to be complicated, and your editor and proofreader will thank you for putting in the extra effort.

(End the debate: Why the Oxford comma is so cool!)

Here’s what you need to know about the most common punctuation in dialogue:

• When dialogue ends with a period, question mark, or exclamation mark, put the punctuation inside the quotation mark:

                  “Sam came by to see you.”

                  “Come home with me?”

                  “I hate you!”

• When punctuating dialogue with commas and an attribution before the dialogue, the comma goes after the attribution, and the appropriate punctuation mark goes inside the quotation mark at the end of the dialogue:

                  Mom said, “Sam came by to see you.”

• When punctuating dialogue with commas and adding an attribution after the dialogue, the comma goes inside the quotation mark:

                  “She came home with me,” Will said.

• When you’re punctuating dialogue with commas and adding a pronoun attribution, the comma goes inside the quotation mark, and the pronoun is not capitalized:

                  “I hate you,” she said.

• With dialogue that trails away, as though the speaker has gotten distracted, use an ellipsis inside the quotation mark:

                  “I just don’t know …” Jenny said.

• When dialogue is abruptly interrupted or cut off, use an em-dash inside the quotation mark:

                  “Well, I don’t think—”

                  “Because you never think!”

• For a non-dialogue beat to break up a line of dialogue, use either commas or em-dashes:

                  “And then I realized,” Jane said with a sigh, “that he lied to me.”

                  “Without the antidote”—Matt shook his head—“I don’t think we can save him.”

• When the speaker has started to say one thing, and changed his or her mind to say something else, use the em-dash:

                  “I don’t want to—I mean, I won’t hurt her.”

Note that semicolons and colons are rarely used in most contemporary fiction. They tend to appear too academic on the page, and if you use one or the other, or both, you run the risk of reminding the reader that they’re reading a story. Try not to do anything that breaks that fourth wall and calls attention to the mechanics of the story itself.

Short term goals. When a character actually needs something, good dialogue comes easily. And that goes for every character in a scene, not just the main one. When these goals are incompatible, you have conflict which is your best friend. You want tennis, not golf.

Character's intent vs. Authors intent. When a character acquires information because they need to know, it allows for good exposition. When a character only asks something because the author wants the viewer to know, you get clumsy exposition. Never, ever start a line of dialogue with “As you know…”

Subtext. This is how good writers create small talk that matters rather than pointless banter. When the audience perceives the real meaning behind words, it really captures how we speak indirectly to get what we want. For example, the following breakfast dialogue couldn't be more dull but if we know what they are really saying, it foreshadows conflict in their marriage:

MARY: Can you believe it? Bob and Karen just got another new car. (Subtext: You don't make enough money)

JOE: She probably needs it to get to work. (Subtext: Get a job and you can have one too)

Avoid phone calls. Do whatever you can to have characters speak in person, even if a phone call would have sufficed. It may not be apparent in the script but phones suck the energy out of dialogue and directors know it.

1) Characterization: 

After deciding on the characters of the story, its good to decide their habits. How the character behaves when left alone, how the character interacts with different genders, how the character deals with happiness, anger, his/her Strength, weakness etc., more like a bio-data.

The bio-data would help in defining the character, adding more life to it.

Generally, a story would be in the following form:

(i) The life of the lead characters are shown

(ii) An incident happens  (inciting incident (challenge or a problem))

(iii) How the inciting incident affects the characters

(iv) How the characters deal with it

(v) how their life gets changed.

So, deciding on how the character was before the story and how it reacts to the story, how it changes after the story would help in developing some happening characters.

2) Show don't tell:

For example, if two guys are walking to the door, there is no need for them to say 'Hey.. the door number is 65'. Visually, when the door number is shown to the audience, they will naturally understand that. The character doesn't have to explain everything in words.

3) Avoiding repetitive dialogues:  When the characters are talking about something throughout the script, care should be taken that they don't sound monotonous.

4) Try to avoid cliches. Some cliches cannot be avoided. In those cases, conveying them without exaggeration will work out. (Doesn't apply to fantasy scripts.)

5) On the second day, you might feel like changing the stuff which you wrote on the first day. Yes. It happens. You would find fault with characterization or a dialogue, sometimes you might not like the scene itself.

So, read your script again and rewrite every time until you feel confident. Many screenwriters stress on reading and rewriting again.

1. UNDERSTAND STRUCTURE

This is the heart of scriptwriting. Read books from writers like Robert McKee or John Truby. Then absorb story structure into your film writing.

2. UNDERSTAND THE SCENE

Nearly all new screenwriters use too many words. Let your looks, scenes, silences do the talking, too. Read more tips on film scenes.

3. UNDERSTAND DIALOGUE

Dialogue is best when it’s fractured and oblique. If dialogue sounds too formal or fluent, your words are likely to sound stilted and awkward on screen. Read more tips on film dialogue.

4. UNDERSTAND CHARACTER

Novelists can spend 100,000 words exploring a character. You have about a quarter of that amount with which to write a movie, nut novelists don’t have actors. You do. You need to provide a framework that actors fill out, so stick to your job. Use action lines as cue in screenwriting. Read more tips on characters in films.

5. THINKING WITH PICTURES

Although camera angles are the director’s province, you need to see the movie you’re writing, and your script can do a huge amount to nudge a professional reader into sharing your vision. If you do this well, you may not just have a good script. You could have a great one.

SELLING YOUR FILM SCRIPT

Writing a good script is hard, but selling it is harder.

Unknown novelists with no prior training are picked up every day by literary agents, and many go on to be successfully published. The film industry does tend to draw new screenwriters in from conventional routes: film schools, TV soaps, production company insiders, actors, and the professional theatre.

It doesn’t mean securing an agent is impossible if this doesn’t apply to you – and if your script is strong enough, we’ll help it get read by a film agent anxious to find new talent.

1) Ideas are worthless, screenwriting is about the details. (props to Richard Walter)

2) Characters are defined by what they do, not how they are described or how you dress them. (Props to Richard Walter)

3) There's no need to document every step of your story idea. If you forget the idea it wasn't a great narrative...cause you don't forget a great narrative.

4) Don't spend hours writing each day. Screenwriters spend a majority of their time editing what they wrote in their last session. Think more and write less. Remember, if you write only 1 page a day...that's 3 features a year....you don't need to bang out pages.

5) Don't focus on the minutiae like character names or scene set-ups. Those will work themselves out by the time you finish the script...it will become obvious at a certain point what needs to happen.

6) Don't write your scripts in Microsoft word or celtix or google docs. Use final draft and conduct yourself as a professional.

7) Your voice as a writer and your politics (what you think matters in life) is what will define your script. Using save-the-cat/paint by numbers approach will yield a competent yet boring script. You have to take chances.

8) The more your research the better your story will work. Write what you know is bullshit. Research the world you are trying to create and how people act in that world. Seek it out in real life and get a feel for what it looks, smells and tastes like.

9) Features and TV operate completely differently as an industry and as story forms. You need to choose where you want to be.

10) Pick your genre and stick to it. You cannot write dramas and comedy at the same time. You have to choose.

11) Do not write a coming-of-age script or a cathartic script...everyone does this in the beginning...no one will read it. No one cares.

12) Just because it's a true story, doesn't mean it's a good story.

13) Screenwriting is hard because everyone thinks it's easy. Don't be that guy. This is a life long vocation, realize this and be ok with it. The saying "it takes 10 years to become an overnight success" is true. Don't get discouraged when you read about some chick that got a 3 picture deal or first look deal due to her "amazing" short. Think of it like you think of sports. Many of the most dominant players in each league didn't go first in the draft.

14) be patient. Here's my person motto about screenwriting "it doesn't matter what time you get to the party if you're the best looking person when you get there".

15) Write because you have something to say. Coke, hookers and Ferarri's aren't going to make you happy...becoming a notable part of the cannon of film or TV will.

16) Don't get caught up on grammar and discussions about grammar. No one ever optioned or produced a script because it had excellent grammar. That doesn't mean you should just not give a fuck about it, but understand that effective scene descriptions and awesome dialogue often violate the accepted rules of grammar. I'm famous for saying that grammar is the bland writer's spice...don't be that writer.

17) Story is what matters. Learn the difference between plot and story and premise. A lot of people talk about the premise that they've come up with and describe it as a story. They are very different.

18) Understand the difference between story and narrative. Story is what happened - "I got a flat on the way to work and I was late". It's just what happened. Narrative is time bound and highlights certain elements in the story to make the story work for the reader (we call the audience the reader in film theory). "So my next door neighbor's dog was barking all fucking night and hence I slept through my alarm. I left late and was in hella traffic and then this bitch cut me off and I hit a pothole and got a flat." See the difference?

19) The best way to get proficient at writing dialogue is to understand what a pentameter is. I'm not going to give you a crash course on iambic pentameter just know that it's a thing. Listen to languages that you don't speak (like a news cast or a movie) and see how you can tell who is mad and who wants to fuck just by their inflection and their use of hard consonants. Dialogue has a rhythm, each character has it's own rhythm...hence their own dialogue speech patterns. Also watch the news with the sound off and try to speak gibberish in the same pentameter "newspeak" and see if you can keep it. News is spoken with a rhythm.

20) Watch stand up to learn effective story telling. Comedians have a lot less time to pull the audience in and they get immediate feedback when shit isn't working. Though I'm a drama writer I watch a lot of stand up because you can never hear too much story.

What are the dos and don'ts of writing a script?

A: There are over 1000, but, here’s the first 50… It’s a good start.

The 1000 `Rules’ of Screenwriting: by Dr JoeTV – (and lots of other people)

1. Write What You Know! (As… If you don’t know a lot about the Field and Domain of culture that you are writing about (eg: a story about firefighting, or time-travel, or the fashion industry, or – whatever “world” your story is mainly “set” in), then – go and research the heck out of it. Reads tons of books on it. Talk to lots of people who work, eat, sleep and play in that Domain of culture. So that, your plot and action and dialog (and Mood and Tone and Atmosphere) all “rings true”! As if it doesn’t – it turns the script reader, let alone the audience, right off! …Remember, all you need to do is: fake, authenticity. And, also – If you want spontenaeity, rehearse it-!)
2. Drama is Conflict! (so, aim to put it in every scene in your movie). [All life is problem-solving, as Sir Karl Popper once rightly said.]
3. Show, Don’t Tell! (i.e. Don’t use dialog, if you can show it, in images. Silent films are actually more `cinematic’ than talky films. In general, talk is more for TV.) [But – What about Tarantino? And Woody Allen? And Aaron Sorkin? Well if you write dialog that well, go for it. But most people: don’t!]
4. Nobody knows anything! (William Goldman 1983.) [But – what about DK Simonton, `Great Flicks’, 2011, ie “What do we know? LOTS!”. See my PhD on Creative (ie SUCCESSFUL) Movie Screenwriting]. ie I am not sure this is a good “rule” at all.
5. Theme is paramount! (so, try and put it in every scene, if possible)
6. Structure is everything (so, start and end the story at the `right’ time, and – use parallel cross-cutting, and flashbacks, and non-linear storytelling… as and when, appropriate!)
7. A screenplay is: A story told with pictures! (see: page 1, Syd Field)
8. Raise the stakes! (and – for evolutionary / survival stakes, see: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs!) …Namely – if, what is at stake in your movie isn’t something we care about, then: Who cares? (…Not: us.)
9. Make the characters `3-dimensional’ (i.e. real, and believable, and “fleshed out”)… According to me, The 3 `dimensions’ of character are: 1) Biological, 2) Psychological, 3) Sociological, and, 4) Cultural. (…But – hey, who’s counting…?)
10. Action is Character! (Characters are `what they do’, and not so much `what they say’!)
11. Foreshadow (or, set-up, or `planting’) & Payoff (you can never have too much of this good stuff…)
12. All `good’ stories need: suspense, surprise, reversals, twists!
13. Don’t ever: be boring! (As: Boring screen stories are: boring.)
14. Scenes should be tight: i.e. When writing (and editing) a scene, Come in late, and Leave early! (The movie The Room notoriously has characters come into a room and say “Oh hi Mark!” or whatever. Cut all that boring redundant stuff, just “cut to the chase” in the scene. I do not mean literally every scene has to be a chase scene. But in a way it is, as Boyd (2009) and my PhD on movie story creativity notes, most “scenes” are: characters, with: 1) A goal(s), 2) Planned action (to achieve their goals… 3) Obstacle(s) to that goal (i.e. – a problem!), and finally, 4) Result.)
15. For action lines (description): use short, controlled bursts! (Like they say in the movie ALIENS when using machine guns, LOL).
16. Dialog: also, use: short, controlled bursts (as lengthy dialog is often annoying and “slow”… of course – there are exceptions!)
17. Lots of `talking heads’ scenes in movies are to be avoided, as that’s more like TV, and is not very: cinematic. Compare with early silent movies. (Lots of movement!)
18. Use dialog only as a last resort (i.e. the old `Show, don’t tell‘ heuristic!)
19. Don’t write the subtext, in the dialog! (ie Avoiding the old `on the nose’ dialog problem!)
20. Writing is Rewriting! (especially in a movie script, which, is probably long and complicated)
21. Use visual symbols and visual metaphors (rather than: NOT doing so!) See say the opening shot of INTERSTELLAR (the toy space-shuttle on a bookcase), or that spiral-staircase (a DNA symbol!) in GATTACA, etc.
22. Use mythical story structures (rather than: not doing so)… As, if it worked before – it might just work again! But – creativity also means: something new, useful and surprising, i.e. Combine two old things to get a new thing. Ask: Can you maybe “bury” an old (classic) myth, under the plot of your story? Without it being: predictable?
23. Don’t make the story any longer – or shorter – than it needs to be!
24. On Genre: note that – as movies, Dramas tend to do badly (financially), and are very hard to do: well! ( ‘Most moviegoers want light entertainment, not weighty entertainment. Laughs and thrills, not tears and deep sighs.’ (Simonton, 2011, p. 82))
25. Your movie story should have a clear Premise! eg Maybe, see: The BlackList Survey Loglines / Story Premises. Or – not.
26. Maybe, it should even be high-concept! (Or, not. Depends!)
27. Maybe it should even be: high-concept and low-budget at the same time! (As Producers tend to love that stuff, and – Why not?!)
28. The story Premise probably should be something that interests people (Hooks their interest, intrigues or fascinates them). See Evolutionary Psychology for topics that interest people! See also my PhD on successful (i.e. creative!) movie screenwriting!
29. The Spatial and/or Temporal Settings of the story should probably be reasonably familiar to audiences! (As if it’s all too weird, then maybe the audience gets alienated!) …Though at the same time, “exotic”, can be fine! (Provided you do it right!)
30. The Exposition Scenes (the “background info” about the who, what, when, where, and why) should probably come early on (mainly so that people can understand: What’s happening)! But also – characters shouldn’t “speak the Exposition” in too obvious a way!
31. There shouldn’t be too many coincidences, as this usually annoys audiences!
32. Each Scene (or story event) should advance the Plot!
33. Don’t be predictable: The movie story should keep viewers guessing: What will happen next-?!
34. Try not to use Flashbacks for exposition late in the story: this can be seen as a `cheat’; namely hiding a key piece of information from the audience until late. Then again, oddly, this can work, if, done right!
35. The protagonists of the movie should have a clear goal and motivation, or `problem/s’ to solve! (And this probably should be in your Logline!)
36. Use Character flaws to the story’s advantage! (Protagonists are generally more interesting (or `real’) if they have a flaw! Or even lots.)
37. There probably should be: a strong Villain or Antagonist! (But not always!)
38. Heroes (and – movies) are only as `good’ as the villain is `bad’! (see: Hitchcock. He said this. And he was probably right. In most cases.)
39. On Hero-likability – the hero should (probably) be likable and/or empathetic and/or sympathetic. But – not always! (see: Movies about Antiheroes! Or satires! eg American Psycho! Or Napoleon Dynamite!)
40. Characters (probably) shouldn’t behave illogically, unless a very good reason is provided (e.g. they’re crazy, or, possessed, or just tricking to throw the bad guys off the scent, etc)
41. On Character “Arcs” – in American, big-budget movies, probably, the character should have an “Arc” – as these movies are often basically just like: animated, self-help manuals!!! But ironically, top 20 RoI movies characteristically don’t have these! See my PhD!!!
42. Endings: in American big-budget movies, the good guys probably should win at the end! Unless, it’s a Tragedy! But ironically, top 20 RoI movies characteristically don’t have these endings! They tend to be: Villain Triumphant stories! See my PhD!!!
43. The story stakes (what the hero or the town, or the world, etc, stands to lose) should be as high as possible! I know I already mentioned this one, but it’s worth repeating!!!
44. Amp up the intensity – as the story progresses! (The stakes should probably get raised, progressively!)
45. The ending probably should be satisfying, believable, and not too predictable! (A “creative” movie story is – one that is new, useful and surprising!)
46. There are also a lots of Screenwriting DONT’S, but right now I don’t… have time to list them! But hey – You could start with this post, on Screenwriting Mistakes (though I see, some of its links are broken…!)
47. Okay so from #47 to #147 below, I’m also going to list out the Table of Contents of the really great book: Your Screenplay Sucks: 100 Ways To Make It Great (Akers 2008). And – here is the first one! – “#1. You have not written something you care about!” (Akers 2008) – And I’ll keep the numbers from the Table of Contents. As you can see, this first set below, from “rules” 1 to 6, or #47 to #52 in my numbering system, is on The Idea (behind the Story/Screenplay/Movie.)
48. 2. Your idea isn’t vibrating with originality! (Akers 2008)
49. 3. You picked the wrong genre! (Akers 2008)
50. 4. Your story is only interesting to you! (Akers 2008)
51. (etc, to >1000…)